Me, trying to persuade Rooby: It feels good to pee in the lake. Very liberating.

Rooby: What’s ‘liberating’?

Me: It means it makes you feel free. Free from the constraints of modern—

Rooby: —toilets.


Rooby, showing me that when she opened her toothpaste, she tore the lid right off the cap: Look what I did!

Me: Wow, you must have superstrength!

Rooby: Yeah!

Me: You’re like the Hulk!

Rooby: Don’t you mean the … Bulk?

Me: The Bulk?

Rooby: Like, the Booty Hulk? [shakes booty]

Rooby’s dream.

“I had a dream that you and I were walking in a woods and we found a giant spiderweb and there was a skunk and a bear sleeping in it.

“Then the bear woke up and stuck his finger in his ear and ate his ear sap.

“It was a pretty disgusting and hilarious dream.”


At the Andy Warhol Museum.

Me: Andy Warhol was a painter, a print-maker, and a filmmaker.

Rooby: Then I bet Daddy’s a big fan.

D: Well, I’m not a huge fan of Warhol’s films…

Rooby: Are you a fan of anyone’s films but your own?


Rooby: Was your name Gena when you were a kid?

Me: It sure was.

Rooby: [gestures that she has something to say in my ear, then whispers into it] No offense, but, in my opinion, that sounds like a grownup name.

Out of control.

Rooby: How was your day?

Me: It was pretty good! How was your last day of school?

Rooby: It was good. The party was awesome! But it was a little out of control.

Me: How so?

Rooby: The person who was serving ice cream put chocolate sauce on mine by accident.