Rooby: What happened to my unicorn balloon?

Me: It probably ran out of air and we had to throw it away.

Rooby: But I loved it so much! [is sad, crawls into bed with me to be comforted]

Me: Well, the nice thing about balloons is that you can always buy another one.

Rooby: But what if the balloon stores RUN OUT OF BALLOONS

Me: I don’t think that’s likely to happen any time soon.

Rooby: Can we get a Zelda balloon?

Me: Tell you what: if we ever see a Zelda balloon, we can get it.

Rooby: Write that down in your notebook.

Me: I’ll remember.

Rooby: But what if it’s not until the end of the world? [Puts a notebook and pen in front of me] WRITE. IT. DOWN.


After a conversation about hair styles becomes one about non-binary genders:

Rooby: Is that rare?

Me: No. It may seem rare to some people because they haven’t talked about it much. But it’s common.

Rooby: Is that what Paul [McCartney] is?

Me: I don’t think so, but we’d have to ask Paul.

Rooby: Is that what you are?

Me: No, I feel like a girl. What about you?

Rooby: Nah, I feel like a dog.


Rooby: Remember that time I walked around the house and ran into a deer and it stared me down?

Me: I do.

Rooby: Wouldn’t it be funny if it stared me down to stone?

Boiling point.

Me, diving for a pot on the stove that’s about to boil over: Oh no oh no oh PHEW

Rooby: What happened?

Me: The pot almost boiled over. But I got it in time.

Rooby: Good thing!

Me: I know!

Rooby: What if you didn’t get it in time?

Me: Then I’d have a mess to clean up!

Rooby: What if it boiled over and filled the entire house?

Me: Wow, that would pretty bad!


Me: Uh…

Rooby: Don’t let us die.


Rooby: I had a great idea about how to catch that mouse.

Me: What is it?

Rooby: We need cactus traps.

Me: Cactus traps?

Rooby: Yes.

Me: How does a cactus trap work?

Rooby: We put cactuses all around the house and the mouse runs around and pokes itself on the pointy part and when it stops to say “Huh? Hey! What was that?” we pick it up by the tail and put it outside.


Rooby, fondly watching Bella, my mom’s cat: I bet Bella would like some catnip.

Me: Maybe she would!

Rooby: I know what catnip is.

Me: You do?

Rooby: It’s blood.

Me: Huh. Well, that’s interesting, but I’m pretty sure it’s a kind of plant that cats really like.

Rooby, slightly disappointed: Oh.

Me: Why did you think it was blood?

Rooby: Well, in Marshmallow, it says the kitty’s mice are filled with catnip.

Me: Yes, it does.