Man, I’ve been lazy about LJing this summer. I realize this. I have no excuse. At some point, I’ll pick it back up and report on actual adventures and, I hope, begin reviewing books again. Maybe I’ll even write that last chapter of the NASCAR Chronicles. But when Life gets complicated, the Procrastination suffers.
What has not suffered, however, is my devotion to The Karaoke. Last night, new friend Mary lost her karaoke virginity with a barn-burning rendition of “Let’s Hear It for the Boy,” and Triple Threat Tucker busted out the Wreckx-N-Effect, because, as everyone knows, a wiggle and jiggle can make the night complete. And last weekend, I flew back to Rhode Island to sing at the gloriously seedy Murray’s Pub of Pawtucket for a friend’s bachelorette party. (The bachelorette herself nearly killed someone when some guy beat her to “The Humpty Dance,” but she pulled it together like a pro and countered with a sublime “Mama Said Knock You Out.”)
So I’ve been thinking about the Empty Orchestra, and how much I love it, and how I’m really glad that I’m turning 30 in a few weeks because it is the perfect occasion for a truly epic karaoke night where I can make everyone suck it up and sing because, seriously, it’s the best thing ever, and even if you don’t believe me it doesn’t matter because it’s my 30th birthday and if you don’t sing you’re really, really mean. (I realize there are some girls out there who cultivate this level of princessitude for more mundane occasions, such as a graduation, or the purchase of a new lip gloss, or Wednesday, but I find that if you save your inner princess for special occasions, people will do outrageous shit for you with very little needling and pouting on your part. And, honestly, I’m not a fan of the Needle and Pout. I will humiliate myself repeatedly on the karaoke floor, but the Needle and Pout I think beneath me.)
But my point is this: internet friends, wherever you are, I would like you to start compiling a list of songs you would sing if you could come to my birthday party, and tell me what they are, and promise you will sing these songs aloud at some point in the month of August. It doesn’t have to be under the lights—it can be in the shower, or the car, or on the table of your favorite fancy restaurant. I would just like to know that, just this once, everyone is participating.
And yes—duets are not only allowed but encouraged.