Birthday karaoke request.

Man, I’ve been lazy about LJing this summer. I realize this. I have no excuse. At some point, I’ll pick it back up and report on actual adventures and, I hope, begin reviewing books again. Maybe I’ll even write that last chapter of the NASCAR Chronicles. But when Life gets complicated, the Procrastination suffers.

What has not suffered, however, is my devotion to The Karaoke. Last night, new friend Mary lost her karaoke virginity with a barn-burning rendition of “Let’s Hear It for the Boy,” and Triple Threat Tucker busted out the Wreckx-N-Effect, because, as everyone knows, a wiggle and jiggle can make the night complete. And last weekend, I flew back to Rhode Island to sing at the gloriously seedy Murray’s Pub of Pawtucket for a friend’s bachelorette party. (The bachelorette herself nearly killed someone when some guy beat her to “The Humpty Dance,” but she pulled it together like a pro and countered with a sublime “Mama Said Knock You Out.”)

So I’ve been thinking about the Empty Orchestra, and how much I love it, and how I’m really glad that I’m turning 30 in a few weeks because it is the perfect occasion for a truly epic karaoke night where I can make everyone suck it up and sing because, seriously, it’s the best thing ever, and even if you don’t believe me it doesn’t matter because it’s my 30th birthday and if you don’t sing you’re really, really mean. (I realize there are some girls out there who cultivate this level of princessitude for more mundane occasions, such as a graduation, or the purchase of a new lip gloss, or Wednesday, but I find that if you save your inner princess for special occasions, people will do outrageous shit for you with very little needling and pouting on your part. And, honestly, I’m not a fan of the Needle and Pout. I will humiliate myself repeatedly on the karaoke floor, but the Needle and Pout I think beneath me.)

But my point is this: internet friends, wherever you are, I would like you to start compiling a list of songs you would sing if you could come to my birthday party, and tell me what they are, and promise you will sing these songs aloud at some point in the month of August. It doesn’t have to be under the lights—it can be in the shower, or the car, or on the table of your favorite fancy restaurant. I would just like to know that, just this once, everyone is participating.

And yes—duets are not only allowed but encouraged.

9 thoughts on “Birthday karaoke request.

  1. Brilliant idea! I will start compiling my list now–as long as something shiny or tawdry does not distract me.

    (BTW, the last song I sang aloud was “You Don’t Know What Love Is (You Just Do What You’re Told)” by the White Stripes, and it was this morning on my drive to work.)

  2. So, erm, maybe you can tell me.

    WTF is up with the whole massive Wrecx-n-Effect/Tag Team/their many spinoffs resurgence? I mean, damn. I didn’t hear “Whoomp” for twelve or thirteen years, and all the sudden it is ubiquitous. “Rump Shaker” blares from my neighbor’s house at all hours. (Though to be fair, it and Barry White are the only things they play I actually recognize.)

    …and have you heard the “Honkytonk Badonkadonk” song? I almost choked on my soup…

  3. Oh, and I missed that bit.

    Were I able to get to your birthday party– and believe me, I would love to attend, and be honored to be invited– you would not be able to find karaoke of anything I’d be willing to sing. This is unfortunate. I’ve been trying to get people to karaoke Death Squad’s “Predator at an Airline Crash Site” for years with no success.

  4. NAH NAH NAH NAH

    I’M FUCKING SICK OF SPOON. PUT A FORK IN ‘EM. THEY’RE FUCKING DONE.

    HAPPY 30 KAMI. I’LL SING “WE WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN.” I BROUGHT THE HOUSE DOWN A YEAR OR SO WHEN I DID IT AT A KARAOKE PLACE IN RALEIGH, NC. I’VE BEEN PRACTICING THE SCREAM AFTER THE AWESOME ORGAN SOLO SINCE I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, SO I OUGHT TO HAVE IT DOWN BY NOW.

    LUV YA.
    PP

  5. Birthday Karaoke

    “Albuquerque Lullaby” by Dan Bern, “Beast of Burden”, Rolling Stones, “This Boy”, Beatles. Happy Birthday! Love, Dad

  6. My Karaoke Specialty Song has always been “Don’t Cry Out Loud”. Morbid, I know. But people love it. And I don’t need the words for it 🙂

    If I were living near my old boss (picture Drew Carrey — I’m not kidding), we’d also do a rendition of “Summer Nights” (and don’t think that’s not a weird thing to sing with your boss). I’ll do a couple rounds of “tell me more, tell me more, tell me more/like does he have a car” in your honor.

    You crack me up, by the way 🙂

  7. sheepishly

    Perhaps, for you, and because you drove up to have lunch with me, I will finally do that long-promised rendition of “Downtown” . . .

    drc

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