In which the gods are cruel to Lady Z indeed.

Will you just look at what I’m going to miss at our local Walton Arts Center because I’ll be in New Zealand?

LEGENDS!
Starring JOAN COLLINS and LINDA EVANS

From the joancollins.net press release:

James Kirkwood’s Legends! was expected to come to Broadway in the late 1980s with Carol Channing and Mary Martin starring as the two warring Hollywood divas being wooed to do a stage show together, Star Wars: The Play, by a producer with no credibility. The pre-Broadway tour of Legends! began in Dallas in January 1986.

Plagued by negative press (including mostly harsh reviews), by the time it folded in Palm Beach in January of the following year, the tour was better known for the backstage drama between Channing and Martin than anything that happened onstage. Kirkwood later wrote Diary of a Mad Playwright about his harrowing experience on the road with the show. In this new production, Collins will play Sylvia Glenn, the acerbic star originally played by Channing. Evans will play Martin’s part, the seemingly sweet Leatrice Monsee.

Ben Sprecher will produce the Broadway mounting, which will tryout in 2006 in Toronto. About his decision to produce the piece, Sprecher told the New York daily, “I was looking for a play for Joan [Collins], something she would feel comfortable in. I read the script and thought it was very, very funny. I was prepared for her to think it was too lightweight, but she really enjoyed it.”

Collins, who made her Broadway debut in the revival of Noel Coward’s Private Lives, will play Sylvia Glenn, the film star modeled on Joan Crawford, while Evans will play the Loretta Youngish Leatrice Monsee. Legends! will mark Evans’ Broadway debut.

How is it possible that this extravaganza is taking place in my own backyard and I will be on the other side of the world? Joan Collins channeling Carol Channing as Joan Crawford? Alexis and Krystle reincarnated in a revival of the celebrity deathmatch between Channing and Mary Martin? It’s enough to make one’s head explode.

I cannot believe I’m going to miss this. Those of you who will be in town for this glorious event absolutely must obtain your tickets NOW. This would also be the ideal opportunity to debut the Joan Collins cocktail we discussed this summer. Now taking recipe suggestions.

7 thoughts on “In which the gods are cruel to Lady Z indeed.

  1. oh LOL! I *just* heard an ad for this here in Denver not a week ago!

    You poor dear. You’ll be in NZ and we feel so sad for you.

    (and how is it possible that Linda Evans actually looks younger in that picture than when that nighttime soap was on? maybe it’s the same CG effects they used in that XMen movie …)

  2. I’ve heard that Joan Collins has had so much work done on her face that every time she blinks she pulls up her socks.

    As for Linda – well, I think maybe she’s got a picture in her attic.

    And gosh, Lady Z, I wouldn’t go across the street to see either of them, but I’m sorry you’re going to miss them. Maybe I could go to New Zealand for you? Huh?

  3. I love how the photo really shows the hierarchy of hotness between the two women – Joan, being the bigger fish of the two, gets the more embellished of the two red dresses, the flashier of the two diamond necklaces, the bigger of the two overstated hairstyles, the more cleavage-revealing of the two necklines, and the more sultry of the two poses.

  4. What I want to know is how much plastic surgery they’ve had to still look that good in their 60s. Or is it the makeup, lighting and soft focus lens work?

  5. Oh! And I just added Diary of a Mad Playwright to my wish list. I don’t know if you deserve thanks or imprecations for bringing yet another interesting-sounding book to my attention.
    *grin*

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