Your band made me gay.

The latest in the “Sinister or Satire?” file: bloggers can’t figure out if founder Donnie Davies is a brilliant comedian or a bonafide nutjob. Neither can I. Either way, he has helpfully provided a comprehensive list of bands that will make you gay if you listen to them. If he’s right, I myself am gay about a million times over. Huzzah!

(These bands, on the other hand, will not make you gay. Donnie does not specify whether these non-gay-makers have any kind of antidotal effect on the gay-making music—whether, for example, one can counteract the gay effects of Elton John, The Polyphonic Spree, or Kansas with a heavy dosage of Falling Up, Jars of Clay, or (perplexingly) Cyndi Lauper. If anyone out there would care to take one for the team and let us know if these bands actually make one less gay, we’ll send you some Le Tigre, Queen, and Judas Priest (???) stat and get you gayed back up in no time.)

13 thoughts on “Your band made me gay.

  1. My single favorite line from the Gay List:

    Ted Nugent (loincloth)

    Don’t tell the people (including my parents) who saw him at Texas Governor Rick Perry’s inaugural ball earlier this month!

    Seriously, if loincloths are enough to make you gay, I hope these people don’t have any crucifixes lying around.

  2. I contend that listening to Phish IS gay, but will not make you gay– you’ll be too constantly high for any sort of sexual activity.

    And Mr. Nutjob needs to realize that Merzbow is a band (who will probably not make men gay, but could make women gay, as his wife is infamous hot-hot-hot bondage actress Reiko Azuma) and Merzbau is a label.

    Listening to music did not make me gay. Spider-man has made me gay. (Though I do have to give some credit to Amanda Palmer.)

  3. I love that UnderOath is the first band on the safe list. They’re a hardcore band (I really like them, but I have eclectic taste in music sometimes) and they ARE Christian, but they scream most of their music and do have a line in one of their songs that says something along the lines of “If everything goes according to plan, I’ll have her finished by three AM”. I guess that’s heterosexual, at least, but certainly not “love god’s way”.

    Also, of course, one might also label the gay list “A Selected Playlist from Justin’s computer, with a few accidentals thrown in”.

    Nonetheless, I’m tempted to say that this site is fake. After all, the “loincloth” thing, and the “safe” bands… The only thing I can quickly find out is that it was created October 2006. Shrug.

    Also, how’re classes going this week?

    • Classes are going great. I’ve got a fairly talkative bunch for my 18th-century novel lecture, and a great graduate seminar. And I’m doing Robinson Crusoe next week, which, as you know, I love.

      How’s your spring semester looking?

      • First, and most important: Apparently a fake.

        Secondly, it’s going pretty well. Class-wise, anyway (I’ve had some varied disappointments of a not-more-than-friend sort). I’m really excited for the Postmodernism class I’m taking with Stephen Hock (we’re starting by reading Pynchon’s V, and my head already hurts), and I’m getting to read Freud with Professor Stuber, which looks to be a challenge and rather exciting as well, alongside two ‘real’ Psychology classes. That part’s really exciting.

  4. Hey! I’m gay too!

    Cole Porter? Frank Sinatra? And the Indigo Girls are so gay they listed them twice.

    The Ted Nugent thing puzzles me. How can a bowhunting Republican demigod possibly be gay?

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