And it’s another Surreal Saturday!

I thought, when I first approached the computer, that I was going to share all kinds of details about the past week of my life, including how I’ve been frequenting an establishment called the Electric Cowboy and I’m a little in love with this handsome young cowboy who line dances like nobody’s business; and how I hate Bank of America right now with a visceral passion that blurs my vision when I think about it; and how I made my first midnight trip to Sonic last night, officially kicking off my acculturation to southern living; and how it’s game day in Razorback country, which is something of which I’ve never seen the likes, and I’m not kidding about this because yesterday evening as I was having a drink on Dickson Street, a truck drove by carrying a troupe of cheerleaders doing pig calls from the roof of a pen containing an actual boar, who, I later learned, is not really a razorback but a 425-pound male Russian boar named Tusk who resembles a razorback closely enough to serve as our official mascot, and I swear I’ve been halfway around the world and back and I’ve never seen anything like that truck driving down Dickson Street, and how I plan to devote the entire day to tailgating and after-parties, which is the one part of football I understand.

But then Z sent me this, and I thought, not even an Arkansas cheerleader calling an actual hog can compare with APACHE:

9 thoughts on “And it’s another Surreal Saturday!

    • The short version of the story is that I deposited a paycheck on Thursday, which arrived just in time for me to pay my rent, buy groceries, fill the tank on my car, etc., then I learned that they put a “mandatory 3-5 day hold” on all checks deposited by new customers, so it wouldn’t post to my account until the ELEVENTH, which is not 3-5 days, but they were like Labor Day, processing delays, blah blah blah. I asked them to remove the hold because I’m actually a long-time B of A customer (with a new checking account), and the local bank officer said she was powerless, only the national bank can do that. I asked for the check back so I could cash it and she said no, it had already been “processed.” I said, why is there a mandatory hold, and she condescendingly suggected that as nice as I seemed, sometimes even nice people forge checks and they’re just covering the bank’s ass. I pointed out that it was a high security payroll check from the University up the road, and that she could call the payroll office to verify the check’s validity, which would take all of 5 minutes, and she said no, it was out of her power. I called the national bank and spoke to 3 different reps who went to their supervisors (but wouldn’t let me speak to them) — 2 said only a local bank officer can remove a hold, and one said the national bank can do it but the local bank has to “process” it first, and the computer showed that my local bank hadn’t done that yet, even though the horrible bank officer had told me they had.

      I’m pissed off about the hold, because it’s a keystroke for them and it’s my actual livelihood. But I’m also pissed off that this company has their corporate runaround down pat, giving me different stories at every turn, hoping to just wear me down to the point where I stop calling without helping me at all. So Tuesday I’m going in there and demanding that the local officer call the same service line I’ve been calling for 2 days and work out with the national branch how to remove this absurd hold so I can pay my rent.

      So that’s my story. I do wish that I’d opened an account with a local bank; there’s just too much passing of the buck in a company this large.

      • Bastards! I can’t believe that. Oh wait, yes I can, after all the fun I went through with TCF in Wisconsin. I’ve been very happy with Bank of the Ozarks here so far (I check my account online almost daily). The locals just seem a little more customer-focused.

        Welcome to the Southern Athletic Conference! No, I’d never seen anything like it either. It’s the other religion around here (next to Southern-fried Protestantistm). Just wait until the Texas game… πŸ˜‰

        I liked Tusk, and wish I could have gotten his photo. He has intelligent eyes, and looks like he’d like nothing better than to escape his pen and run through the crowds, wrecking havoc and causing massive amounts of bloodshed. I can appreciate that; I know exactly how he feels.

        Cherry Limeades have been a huge favorite of mine since North Carolina back in 1998. I also highly recommend the lemon slushes…even better with a couple of shots of Absolut Citron. πŸ˜‰

      • Thanks so much for taking the time to type all that out – I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to read it until now. I think I will be choosing a smaller local bank too.

        Thanks again!

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