In which we learn why Columbia is known as a Lesser Ivy.

At the Northside Tavern the other night:

Me: When you were in college, did everyone you know have those drunken smoking scars?
Z: ???
Me: You know, from when you’re smoking a cigarette while trashed, and you go to take it out of your mouth but it sticks to your lip so your fingers slide down the cigarette and you get burnt on the insides of your middle and pointer fingers? Everyone I knew in college had those scars.
Z: That’s why we wouldn’t have you at Harvard.

7 thoughts on “In which we learn why Columbia is known as a Lesser Ivy.

  1. YES.

    Actually, I still get them on occasion, and drinking and I have long since ceased to be bosom buddies.

    (Come to think of it, I can’t offhand recall a single time I did it when I was drunk. I’m just a klutz.)

  2. They wouldn’t have you in Harvard, because you didn’t come from inferior Liverpool genetics, unlike those jerks.

    I’m from proud, Prussian Nobility. We traitored against those British bastards with a lot of Hessians, because those tea drinkers are so pathetic and annoying.

    At real schools, smoking is quite common because people are racking their brain coming up with great ideas. At Harvard, they are too busy trying to get their insanely large lower jaws open enough to even talk that they don’t have the ability to get to the point of needing to smoke.

    BLAH!

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